The Five Promises For Willzzzo

Promise : a statement telling someone that you will definitely do something or that something will definitely happen in the future

In my time I have made literally thousands of promises, and I would be willing to say that at least 90% of them were not kept. Am I unhappy about this? Maybe, but I have made amends for the repercussions that stemmed from not keeping a few of them, and so I'm all good with that. I got to thinking this evening about how all things in my life are shifting and moving, and how much differently my life could look within one year's time, perhaps even six months or three, all depending on how willing I am to listen and to do the hard work that precedes life-changing events. I also thought about how, in doing this work, that there would be commitments to be met to many people, and that I should not overstretch my boundaries, both physical and mental. With that said, I made a decision to not promise anything to anyone ever again. Sound selfish? It might, but let me give you the context and then ask yourself the question again. 

Three years ago my son went to the U.K. for Christmas with his mother. I chose not to go. Two years ago my son went to Seattle with his mother in the Fall and then to the Wisconsin Dells with his mother and Grandpa (from the U.K.) in the Summer. I chose not to go. I won't address my reasons for not going, but it is safe to say that in the end I was glad I didn't go each and every time. However, after my son returned from that trip to the Wisconsin Dells he said that he wanted me to make him a promise. When I asked what that promise might be, he said "Daddy, I want you to promise you won't EVER not come with me on a family trip ever again, no matter where it is, okay?" I made that promise, and after doing so began to try to reflect on exactly what that promise meant for my son. I am still reflecting, and the outcome changes every time I keep any promise to him. It's easy to forget how important promises are, especially when it's our own flesh and blood. 

Now I'll tell you this. I realized that in order to commit myself 100% to my son, I had to become serious about how,when or why I promised things to him, and so I came up with our bond, the Five Promises, and here they are.

1) I will always come on every family trip with you, no matter when, where or how long.
2) If you're hungry, you can have something to eat. I"ll give you my food if you're still hungry.
3) If you're thirsty, you can have something to drink. I'll give you my drink if you're still thirsty when you're done. (Within reason of course...)
4) If you're cold, I'll warm you up by giving you what I'm wearing.
5) If you're tired, truly tired, I will carry you, no matter how far I have to go.
I haven't broken one of these since the first time I shared them with Willzzzo, and I never will. I spent 3 weeks in the U.K. being one-upped by a father-in-law who said vicious things to me during the last week of the trip, causing me to decide to cut off all contact with him when possible. I've given Will my pizza, shared Cokes, Gatorade, H2O, and all sorts of liquids. I've been in freezing weather without a coat to cover his shivery little body. Last Friday I carried a sleepy little 7 1/2 year-old boy on my shoulder from California Avenue to Hoyne Avenue because he could hardly stay awake. I will never, ever in my life begrudge him any of this, and I will do it again and again, forever. I know, I know, some may say that this is "just what being a parent is about", but it's more than that for me personally. It's about longevity and commitment and pride in myself and of and for my son. It's about knowing I can stay the course in all the things I aspire to do, and especially in the midst of those things that are difficult. It's about my son being able to look me in the eye and believe that these five things I've promised will always come true, no matter what the circumstance. I'm good with all of that today. I am proud of telling him I would do these things and proud of never having failed him. I am making a small promise to myself as a test now, to see if I can keep one to me. I am going to go see my mother sometime in the next two weeks, and my Mom #2 as well....
xo-pk