Many of you who read this may have known my two original kitties, Vertigo and HoneyCat!, and you know they were true characters. Suffice to say I miss them very much. Vertigo was the first pet I ever had, bought the day after the most dangerous cat in the world, Bowie, whom I was house-sitting, was hit by a car. (He was allowed outside by his owner, so don't get uppity...) Vertigo was named as such because as a VERY young kitten she could climb WAY high, but would not get down on her own. Next was my roommate Travis saying "Dude, your kitten has vertigo" and presto (!) a name was given.. Honeycat! was something else. Went to pick a friend for Vertigo and had the kitten chosen when I heard a gigantic crash and splash, followed immediately by a tug on my shoulder. There, with one teensy claw hooked in my sweater, was a miserable looking, soaked to the skin, caterwauling ball of calico anger that was NOT going to let me take any other kitten home but her. So I did. And especially after she ran through her water bowl to get to me. The exclamation point has always worked really well, because she NEVER went anywhere without raising a racket. Needless to say, when they each went up the path I was devastated..
Fast forward to now. On Monday night Tinley started throwing up her food. I've seen THIS one before plenty of times, so no real concern. I mean, it happens, right? But she did it again on Tuesday, and Wednesday night as well. Today I noticed she was extremely lethargic, and at one point I walked into the bedroom and literally thought she was dead. Next stop VCA to get her looked at. The doctor and I start to discuss things, and I see $$$$ piling up in front of me. But the doc was nice. She broke down the possibilities for me, what we might need to do, and what was the best first option. That option was x-rays, although she said, "Usually they're pretty inconclusive, with the exception of something being in the cat that's not supposed to be there." Off the cat goes, and 10 minutes later I'm looking at some kind of something inside the cat that for SURE should not have been there. Here's what happened next, and I'm going to give it to you in a way that I hope will express how it went for me emotionally and physically. READY?
Got really angry at the cat for five minutes, realized it's just the type of thing a cat would do, figured out the best financial and physiological options for human/cat health and peace, did a verbal okay and handed off a deposit for immediate administration of I.V. fluids followed by surgery for removal of "a foreign obstruction", ran out the door and went to pick up Willzzzo from after-school, a 15 minute across town count-down, Willzzzo wanting to play for a while, Daddy having to explain about Tinley, FINALLY got home with Willzzzo and settled in, got a call 20 minutes later to come back and pick up Tinley to go to 24-hour post-op facility for monitoring for any possible complications, pick her up with Willzzzo and find out it was an earplug(!) and go to OTHER facility, fill out all the paperwork there, get her settled in, say goodnight, Willzzzo starving so against my better wishes McCrapola it is, home, fed, hot fudge sundae, late-night Xtra reading time and to sleep for him. Me having a pity party, even though I know I'm just doing what should be expected of me.
BUT THEN, right before I started to write this, I noticed I had a text from my Mom. Who had gotten scan results on the tumors that are shrinking her body down. Turns out that the new chemo cocktail is shrinking the TUMORS, not her. Turns out the doctors told her they were "pleasantly surprised with these results". Turns out my Mom is actually feeling a bit more upbeat, and I quote, "Although I know I'll never be "cured", it's nice to know the tumors are shrinking and I can feel better". That quote explains why her nickname in certain circles is "The Eternal Pessimist", always needing a Plan B, even when there isn't one. Turns out she's feeling MUCH BETTER physically. I am overwhelmed with gratitude as I write this, because on the back-end of a fucked-up day that has been a part of a fucked-up week that has been part of a fucked-up last several YEARS, the only thing that matters to me right now is that my Mom feels better.
And THAT, my friends, is good enough....
I love you all,
xo-pk
And I know my fate is written now, time is no longer smiling at me. And I had to make a decision of shifting my weight from one foot anchored to the building to the foot anchored on the wire. This is probably, I don't know, probably the end of my life to step on that wire. And, on the other hand,something that I could not resist and I didn't make any effort to resist called me up on that cable. And death is very close...... -Phillipe Petit-
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